Moving on.

Yesterday morning I was scrolling through my Tumblr feed and discovered that one of my closest friends from Minneapolis was in town getting a tattoo on Saturday. I had received not so much as a text message and really, it pissed me off so I sent her a passive-agressive text that said, "Thanks for letting me know you were in town! I appreciate the effort." She responded a few minutes later with "Shit, I'm sorry, OMG we just got our tattoos and left anyway."

Which to me translates as: I forgot about you.

Maybe under certain circumstances this would be forgivable but this is the last in a long line of her offenses, the prior one being her agreeing to do something for me in an email and then finding out later that she hadn't bothered to read my whole message and didn't know she was agreeing to anything. I am tired of expending energy missing people and attempting to keep in touch with people who seem unwilling to do the same. If she wants to make an effort in the future - fine, that will be great. But I can't be the only one making the effort, so from this point on I'm not going to.

I recently (three months ago) moved back to Iowa from Minneapolis and I have tried my best to keep in touch with my friends there. My phone calls, emails, and texts - and there have been many - go unreturned. With the exception of AG and Mrs. AG and M & C, and (sporadically) my old roommates, it seems as though the vast majority of my friends have forgotten I ever existed. I like to think that I am pretty laid-back and I understand that people grow up, live in different places, lead different lifestyles, etc. But it's been that way for people for umpteen years and you know what? They were able to keep in touch without fucking Facebook. I find it amusing/a little sad that I am closer with Sarah, who lives in Cleveland and whom I have never met, than most of my "friends" in Minneapolis at this point, the difference there being that she cares enough to return a goddamn email.

I shouldn't single out my Minneapolis friends, though - there are a lot of people here that were SO EXCITED for me to move back yet I have seen them exactly zero times.

I'm not trying to make it sound like I am unloved and have no friends because that is not the case. I have a great group of friends here, some old and some new, and they are all wonderful and I am very fortunate to know them all. And, I live with my very best friend of all, and he is amazing and I would be lost without him and ultimately that is what matters, that we are together. I know how lucky I am.

Until yesterday I couldn't help but be hurt and angry with those people who don't have time to fit me into their lives. But now I'm taking a different approach - I'm cutting my losses and moving on. I won't give a shit about you unless you prove that you give a shit about me.

This is not a test.

Today I made the switch from Android to Apple. My transformation from PC to Mac is complete. This post is being brought to you by my shiny new white iPhone 4S.

#Wilco2011RoadTrip.

One time my boyfriend made fun of me because it seemed as though I liked every musical act on the planet but not Wilco, and I said I wasn't a big fan, and he said that I'd just have to wait until we could go to a show together, and then I would see. Fast forward to this December, when we embarked on #Wilco2011RoadTrip (the official Twitter hashtag!) and hit three shows in three cities in four days.

Did it live up to the hype? Yes, yes it did. My mind was pretty blown at that first show. While I may not love the entire Wilco catalog of music, they are something to see live and absolutely incredible musicians.

Day 1: 12/03/2011 Ames to Kansas City
Stop 1: Huxley, Iowa - Casey's General Store
Stop 2: Iowa Welcome Center
"Welcome to Iowa. Figure it out, bitches." Seriously, if you've ever stopped at the Iowa Welcome Center north of the Missouri border while going southbound on I-35...what the fuck?

"Bearcat. Is that like a fat cougar?" -in reference to a billboard for Northwest Missouri State, located in Maryville, Missouri. If Cedar Rapids is the armpit of Iowa, Maryville is the sweaty buttcrack of the entire Midwest.

Stop 3: Flenker's house!
Stop 4: Flenker's house! We left to go to dinner and I forgot my phone. He lives directly across the street from a park which makes going around the block to go back impossible. I caught a lot of crap for this.
Stop 5: Blanc Burgers + Bottles, one of my favorite restaurants ever. Truffle fries, people. TRUFFLE FRIES.
Stop 6: The little cigar shop in Westport
Stop 7: Beer Kitchen
Stop 8: Uptown Theater, a gorgeous space where I made the comment that "Bud Light should never cost more than a nickel", Nick Lowe absolutely killed "Alison", and I promptly got overheated during Wilco's first song and had to spend part of the show in the lobby having my pulse checked. But really, the show was a-ma-zing.
Stop 9: The Foundry. Best people watching ever.
I was drunk and in my notes I have Stop 8 twice.
Stop 10: Westport Street Fare Food Truck. Holy fucking shit. I had the chicken confit tacos. You should go get some immediately. Confit is quite possibly the greatest culinary technique ever invented.
Stop 11: Flenker's house! I tried his IPA and it was good. I ate my chicken confit tacos. I snorted a lot.
"Should have moved out of the Shire"

Day 2: 12/04/2011 Kansas City to Des Moines to Ames
Stop 12: Westport Cafe for brunch with Flenker, Blake, and Maggie. I had the most amazing grilled cheese sandwich I've ever had. I might venture so far as to say it was the greatest sandwich I've ever had. I wanted to cry when I finished it because I was sad that there was none left. ...I like cheese.
Stop 13: Kearney, Missouri - Shell Station
Stop 14: A-Okay Antiques in Valley Junction, West Des Moines, Iowa
Stop 15: Atomic Garage in Valley Junction, West Des Moines, Iowa
Stop 16: The Longest Yard in Valley Junction, West Des Moines, Iowa, where we did not see anyone we know
Stop 17: The Val-Air Ballroom. I'm not going to even bother talking about the show here, but I would like to say this to Des Moines: the Val-Air Ballroom is a disgrace and your people are a disgrace. Read this, which sums up my feelings quite accurately.
Stop 18: Home!

Day 3: 12/06/2011 Ames to Minneapolis and back to Ames
Stop 19: Ames, Iowa - Casey's General Store
Stop 20: The State Theatre. I liked the Kansas City show better but the Minneapolis atmosphere better, if that makes any sense. Combine the two and heads might have exploded. I was getting a little tired of a few songs by this point, but they played "Muzzle of Bees" which made up for it.
"We just got Nick Rolled" -after Nick Lowe sang a song referencing Rick Astley
Stop 21: My Minneapolis apartment
Stop 22: Home!

So #Wilco2011RoadTrip was a success, due in great part to Wilco, and also to Nick Lowe who is just a beautiful person and who I think should be at all my family holidays. The Kansas City and Minneapolis shows both concluded with Wilco and Nick Lowe singing "Cruel to be Kind." Folks, it does not get much better than that.

Glory to God, via the clown car vagina.

I recently stopped watching/reading the news. Not only have I stopped paying attention to it, I actively avoid it. I reached a point where knowing what was going on in the world only served to make me angry or depressed. One day after screaming at NPR on my drive to work, I decided it was time to call it quits with the news. The only idea I have of what's been going on in the world at large has come from Twitter. If it isn't sports-related, I otherwise haven't paid attention.

In spite of my aversion to anything current events-related I couldn't help but notice a Facebook post this morning about Michelle Duggar (or as my mom would call her, the woman with the "clown car vagina") being pregnant again. It's normally something I would have skimmed over, but the comments were too good for me to pass up. First there was this one:

Why is having more than 2 children so often treated like some kind of social disease? If the family can support themselves without our tax dollars and they are raising responsible citizens, what's it to you? (and by "you" I mean those who think she's a freak or a terrible human being).

A freak, yes, but do I think Mrs. Duggar is a terrible human being? No, I do not; in fact, from what little I've seen of her she seems like a very sweet woman. Do I think it is terrible of her to bring 19, now 20 children into the world? I certainly do not agree with her decision to keep having babies until her uterus explodes, and it is certainly not something I would ever choose for myself, but I do not think she is a terrible human being.

I responded by saying:
There's a big difference between having 3 or 4 kids and having 20 kids. Not to mention the fact that there are already 7 billion people on the planet. I would have a lot more respect for them if they had adopted 20 kids.

To which I received this reply:
My point still remains. They're paying taxes, they don't need food stamps or medicare...they're instilling good morals in all their children to love others and serve others... What's the big deal?

I'll tell you what the big deal is. Sure, they are paying taxes and don't need food stamps or Medidcare. But how much of their financial support is coming from pimping their 19 "blessings" on a reality television show, and what does that teach their children? What are the good morals that are being instilled in them?

The girl went on to defend the Duggars by saying they are not "pimping" their family out on TV. They have a fascinating life that people are genuinely interested in and that is one of the many way that they are able to provide for their family. They're living their lives publicly to show people how they live (whether it's religious or familial that others are interested in). Not all reality TV is corruptive. If you watch the show, you will see that they are pretty normal, all things considering. It's certainly not rural Jersey Shore...

All things considered, they're pretty normal. Except for the fact that they have a family six times the size of the average American family, except for the fact that Michelle Duggar has spent a total of 15 years of her life pregnant (thanks Sarah for that little tidbit), except for the fact that they are reality television stars, yep, they're just like you and me! But it's okay because, according to their website, it's all for "GOD who delights in demonstrating his great power" [through Michelle Duggar's reproductive system].

Bob Barker was concerned with controlling the pet population.

What about controlling the people population?

Office politics.

I have been trying to cut back on my television viewing recently, or maybe not so much trying as I just plain haven't had as much time to watch television. I'm sticking with my old staples but I am making an effort to not get suckered into too many new shows (the exceptions here being American Horror Story and Modern Family - yes, I realize I am a little late to that party). I deleted many things off my DVR when I finally decided I would never watch them, and watched a few things I had saved. I have come to terms with the fact that while NTSF:SD:SUV is a great show, I do not need to record the entire series and can be satisfied with catching an episode here and there.

So I'm learning to let go, which I suppose is important, and which also makes me sound a little pathetic since the topic at hand is television shows.

Sometimes it's just hard to let go of fictional characters and terrible storylines that you've devoted years to watching. Sometimes it isn't. Such is the case with The Office. When the American series began, I, as a David-Brent-is-the-only-boss-for-me Office purist, made a solemn vow to never watch the knockoff. I succeeded until I saw the first Dundies awards, and then I was hooked. I've been a devotee ever since. For God's sake, I wrote this blog post and have bawled like a baby every single time I've watched Jim and Pam's wedding.

I knew things would be different when Michael Scott departed for Colorado. What I didn't know was that The Office would completely suck. It's not just Michael's absence. Pam Beesly, a character whom I used to love and root for, is unbelievably annoying and I would now like her to die in a house fire.

And so, after watching only one episode this season, I have kindly asked my DVR to never record another episode of The Office, and it has obliged. I will happily never watch another new episode, unless Pam Beesly is to die in a house fire - so if she does, please let me know.

Rejection, schmejection.

I am in the throes of a Major Job Search, which is the result of a Major Life Change, which involves moving back to Iowa after living in Minneapolis for the past six years, which came about after I saw a gorgeous Iowa sunset and had a come-to-Jesus moment, if you will. I have been applying for jobs - 53 of them, currently, but who's counting? (me) - since August 27th. I have not been selected for one interview. Until yesterday, no one had contacted me via telephone.

I would understand this constant stream of rejection if I was applying for all jobs that are way out of my league, and I will admit that a couple of them have been way out of my league, because what does it hurt to apply for a job that is way out of your league? The vast majority, however, have been pretty standard administrative assistant positions and other general office things that I am certainly qualified to do. While I continue to try to tell myself that no one wants to hire me because I am TOO awesome, it is a little disheartening to receive rejection letter after rejection letter, especially when every rejection letter sounds exactly the same. Someone ought to hire me as a rejection letter writer.

I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am trying very hard to wait patiently to get to that light but when I decide to do something (like pack up my life and move out of state) I pretty much want to do it immediately. I was antsy after one week and it's now been a month and a half. My other big concern is that I would really like to move before the winter, and even though the weather is beautiful right now and we're still getting a little Indian summer, I am wholly aware of the fact that it could start snowing at any second and it would be nice to have all my belongings packed and be out of town before the snow starts to fly.

Otherwise, things are going very well and I am very happy, very very happy in fact, so I am determined to not let my looming job search bring me down too much. This fall has been spectacular and has been filled with good times and good friends and good food and good beer and football, and who could ask for anything more?

Birthdaystravaganza!

This is a little late but my dad, Captain Crab, pirate of the high seas, turned 60 on Wednesday. That night he told me that there aren't many people his age as cool as him. This is true, but it's also true that there aren't many people as cool as him, period. I love him an awful lot, and I don't get to see him enough, which is why this weekend's Dad's Birthdaystravaganza! is going to be extra special. You see, a little football team called the Iowa Hawkeyes - perhaps you have heard of them - is taking over Jack Trice Stadium to kick the shit out of a little team called the Iowa State Cyclones, and my dad and I are taking over Ames for the weekend. There will be a little football, a little (or lot) of booze, and I'm sure a lot of laughs. I can't wait.

He was cool then, and he's cool now. I love you, Dad!